6.5 / 10 Actioncome... -

The scene opened with Miller "Action-Comedying" his way through a warehouse. He didn't do a tactical slide; he tripped over a crate of knock-off sneakers, accidentally headbutting a henchman in the process.

As the "Produce Piece" reached its climax, the stakes were appropriately medium. The villain wasn't trying to destroy the world; he was just trying to divert a shipment of high-end espresso machines to the black market. 6.5 / 10 ActionCome...

Our protagonist, Detective Miller, knew this feeling well. He lived his life at a 6.5. He didn't have a tragic backstory involving a lost family; he just had a moderately annoying ex-wife named Susan and a dog that only listened to him about 65% of the time. The scene opened with Miller "Action-Comedying" his way

The screen cut to black just as an upbeat pop-rock song from 2014 started playing. The audience walked out feeling neither changed nor disappointed. They had been entertained exactly as much as they expected to be. The villain wasn't trying to destroy the world;

"Let’s call it a tactical stumble," Miller wheezed, adjusting his tie.

The dialogue was snappy, but not too snappy. For every witty one-liner Miller delivered, he followed it up with a joke about his cholesterol. He wasn't the hero the city deserved, but he was the one they could afford on a mid-range streaming budget.